Embarrassment, It’s Real and It’s Pain Itself
I awoke on an average Monday morning. Ate an average breakfast. Rid on an average bus. And had an average bus ride. It was plain average. Nothing special, or out of the ordinary today. Nope. Nothing At All. Absolutely nothing that will make this day “unaverage”…
Until after Art.
We just walked out of Art when I realized something. The Book fair. Is Today. MY MONEY. I reached into my back pocket to grab my money, when I realized.
I
Forgot
My
Money.
Fudgeballs.
I charged down the hall to get my money.
Up the stairs
Down the hall
Up the hall
Down the stairs.
And just when I reached the midpoint of the hall before the Gym, I stopped dead in my tracks.
Mr.Clark. Was right there. In front of me. “Caught,” He said, I braked and smiled awkwardly as I scooched past him and his class.
Snickering
It stopped. I turned around and saw nothing unusual, “Keep it together Deandra, You’re probably just going crazy, again…” I mumbled under my breath. I turned back around hoping it would go away.
It did.
But instead I felt someone's hot eyes. Even though I saw nobody staring, and the snickering had faded into the “darkness,” I could feel the staring.
I decided to hurry up and scoot over to the book fair, I had been heavily delayed and if I didn’t hurry, I would have wasted that whole time and dealt with the “scene…” for absolutely nothing!
So I scurried over to the gym, like a bunny rabbit…
Little Did I Know, That One Moment, Was Worth More Than I Thought...
But the worst came pouring in at home,
Like Water,
From Bucket,
To River,
To Sea.
I trotted slowly and overwhelmingly inside my house, “Am Vehent! (I’m Home!)” I shouted across the hall to my grandma.
Silence.
My voice echoed across the hall, “Am Vehent!” “Am Vehent!” “Am Vehent!” The echoing eventually faded into absolute nothingness.
“Hm,” I wondered, “Must be outside or something,” I replied to myself. I was about to fall onto the floor, judging by the weight of my backpack, and I was just about ready to collapse of the floor, or have my shoulder broken off, whichever one came first. I plopped my backpack on the middle of the couch as I sat down, Panting heavily, Like a dog…
I yawned in exhaustion so I headed over to the couch in the living room. I fell down on it, falling asleep midair.
“My dreams are like a crystal ball,” I thought, “They are good if all looks bright, But If something looks dark and unpromising, the dreams turn into bad dreams, which turn into terrible dreams, which eventually turn into Nightmares, If I ever get far enough into “The dream...”
I was running, sprinting even, in a forest made of pitch black shadows, a figure ran towards me, getting closer and closer, and------
I woke up sharply, sharply screaming into the pillow, I was terrified. My grandma looked at me in horror, she looked mortified even.
The whole rest of the day was spent wondering,
What Did It Mean?
I slowly put the puzzle pieces together till I formed a finished product.
Street lights were zooming past, trees a blur, cars racing past us, I lay on the window and stared into the heavy night. Stars ablaze, I wondered, and wondered. My eyes popped open. “No.” I said aloud, “What is it honey?” My mom replied, “Just something at school, nothing you would need to worry about,” I replied, even though that was a little white lie, I didn’t want her to get involved in all my life’s problems. I had figured out the solution, and it wasn’t pretty, quite the opposite actually,
The snickering was coming from Mr.Clark's class, that one was quite obvious, but the other one was harder, because the question was,
“Who?”
I figured it wasn’t Violet, She would’ve known I didn’t like staring, it couldn’t have been any of the girls, I was friends with all of them and they also know that, so that leaves me with.... The boys. The question was which one? I had eliminated a couple, until I got to the conclusion of “The Realization,” as I called it.
When we pulled into the garage I stomped all the way to my room and slammed the door, “UGH!” I screamed in anger, “WHY?! WHY?! WHY?! WHY?!” I screeched as I threw my poor pillows across the room in frustration, “WHY MUST LIFE BE SO….TERRIBLE?!” I shouted as I continued to throw fluffy objects across the room and screaming into another “pillow victim”. I was mortified and frustrated at myself about my own stupidity, “HOW COULD I HAVE MISSED THAT?!” I yelled. I continued on with this for about a half hour before calming down and cleaning up the mess, “Embarrassment, It’s real and it hurts,” I said as I just finished cleaning up. I sighed and sat down, “I just need my Minecraft friends right now,” I said as I opened my computer, playing games has always calmed me down, I have absolutely no idea why, but they do.
Tomorrow was no better. We had a test. Today. The problem was, I could hardly sleep last night, so I was exhausted, and my mind was focused on one subject, and that was “The Realization…” And only the realization. I sighed and rubbed my eyes awake. Today, and the rest of my life was going to be a very long story, full of ups and downs, “Yaaaaaay,” I said sarcastically, But I said that in my head so nobody else reacted to it.
Because Of That, The Memory Is Engraved Into My Brain. In a bad way.
Although after going through that, I am okay….
I might not have forgot my money if I had known what would’ve happened.
If I hadn’t forgot my money, I would’ve been so traumatized from the experience...
Still to this day that memory haunts me, and every time I see Mr.Clark’s secondary class, I feel queasy in the stomach, like something bad will happen again that will force me to go through this again.
“Embarrassment, It’s real, and it’s pain at itself…” :)
